It's just another manic Monday
I wish it was Sunday
'Cause that's my fun day
My I don't have to run day
It's just another methotrexate Monday
Why Monday? No one likes Mondays. On my very first methotrexate dose, I had pushed back starting it for over a week, especially over the weekend. I did not want my methotrexate day to be on the weekend. Everyone needs a drink at the weekend! I may as well make it on a day no one looks forward to anyway!
Methotrexate Monday – makes it easier to remember?!
Funny thing is, I often look forward to Mondays now because it is another dose of methotrexate in my system and hopefully another step closer to my RA being controlled.
I, however, do NOT look forward to Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
My methotrexate hangover tends to hit me the worst on Wednesdays rather than Tuesdays, but knowing that I could be wiped out for Tuesday and Wednesday – I never plan anything big, just in case. What a way to live at 23!!
It starts to hit on Tuesday evenings – the headache, the emphasised fatigue, the lack of appetite. Just feeling rubbish and feeling rubbish about feeling rubbish. Constantly thinking, if I just do a bit more then I will get over it, push through it. Unfortunately, methotrexate does not work like that. We have no control over it, end of.
On Wednesdays, I don’t feel like myself most weeks. I am fortunate that my family and the people I work with understand this, so I don’t have to put extra pressure on myself. (I do anyway!).
Currently, I am just a few weeks away from finishing my last placement and becoming a qualified physio. Exciting, right? I wish. The unpredictability of any given day is terrifying (never mind Wednesdays) – how am I going to cope? I know that places of work cannot discriminate but that doesn’t make it any easier for me to know that I am in this position.
I should be able to work my arse off non-stop at this age. And I really want to be able to.
A lot of people tell me I do loads with working, farming, uni, etc., but to me, it’s not good enough.
I am struggling with having to put myself first in front of helping others. It sucks. But what help would I be if I didn’t? What kind of example would I set to my nieces and nephew? Deep down, I know being sensible is by far, the right thing to do. And it doesn’t matter how hard that is on me mentally, it has to be done.
I digress. Back to methotrexate … it is such a love/hate relationship and I know I don’t want to be on it forever but for now, it’s the only thing that can help me get back to a bit of normality. Familiar feeling at this moment in time!!
In my first 3 months of starting methotrexate, it definitely did make an impact – good, as it helped to control the inflammation and bad, side effects. I was continuously nauseous, I lost an unaffordable half a stone and more, I was even more exhausted.
The price you have to pay, I guess.
The nausea got better and of course, that meant the inflammation got worse – I feel stuck in a flare rut. So, chatting with my rheumy nurse – we decided to up the methotrexate tablets, if this makes the side effects worse then my next option is to go onto the methotrexate injection.
Adding a little more time onto my methotrexate journey, as expected with the unpredictability of RA.
My photo is showing all the changes I have made to reduce my alcohol intake, as, absolutely gutting to me, it definitely makes my RA worse! I am now obsessed with finding tasty 0% alcohol alternatives!!! But from Thursday to Saturday I can drink guilt-free (unfortunately not pain-free also!)
Please ask any questions you have via the comments, email, message or on Instagram @alidaggett, share this blog post with your friends and family and most importantly, share your stories with me. Feel free to unload, I am always happy to listen.
Thank you for reading,